Tied Up with a Bow
by Somei Yoshino
Summary: A few moments between EJ and Sami. This takes place a little while after the "tragic hook up".


*To me, this is the EJ in the moments where we see his guard drop around Sami, and he looks at her in a completely different way than anyone else. It takes place just after their tragic "hook up" and their grief over the supposed loss of Johnny.*

**I'm not sure how I feel about this story… it has never felt complete, but I am ready to get it out there and "off my hands"**

Characters belong to NBC.

Tied up with a Bow

Ever since Johnny had been found, Samantha had allowed EJ to spend time with him and Sydney here and there. Something he was deeply grateful for, but a part of him wondered if it was partially due to her loneliness from her estrangement from Hernandez. EJ considered this to be an excellent development. Just the thought or sight of Hernandez had never ceased to deeply anger him.

They usually met at the park or the square for a few hours, having snacks and playing games. He hoped, with the holiday season beginning, she might even relent to bringing them by the mansion for a bit. The chances were so slim that he would probably go into shock if she did show up there with their kids. "Hi EJ. We just came by to wrap presents and drink cocoa!".

Both of them lavished affection on all of the children, surrounding them with happiness, and yet successfully avoiding each other. But, it was becoming more and more difficult to simply ignore what had happened between them and their relationship was more strained than ever. While Samantha and he usually bordered on sniping at each other, now she would barely meet his eyes, let alone talk to him directly. Somehow, deep down, this angered him more than her petty insults.

For EJ, the more he tried to forget what happened, the more he was haunted by it. At first, it was simply the after effects feelings of shock, confusion, guilt and something unidentifiable. As time went on, the flashbacks started. Randomly during the day, he would be overcome by a small memory from their time together. Immediately, EJ would forcefully thrust these images from his mind.

Lying in bed at night, he was unable to stop himself from wandering through the experience, questioning not only "why had he" but "what did it mean". It meant nothing, beyond the creation of a delicate situation. Something he regretted as he was sure Samantha regretted with every fiber of her being.

But sometimes, as he did in the past, he dreamed of "their" family. Simply spending time together. Being happy. The family EJ had so desperately tried to build.

And sometimes he simply dreamed of Samantha.

Exhausted, EJ walked through the front door, loosening his tie as he entered the foyer. As he stopped a moment to check a file on the table, he was jolted to hear the muffled sounds of a woman and Johnny's laughter. Shocked, he slipped into the front room.

Stock-still, he took in the strange and beautiful scene. In the middle of the room stood the massive family Christmas tree, in the process of being decorated. Next to the tree stood Samantha, in a blue -green scoop neck sweater that hung off her shoulders, a loose knee-length grey skirt. Both Johnny and Sydney were running in small circles around her legs, wrapping red satin wrap towards her ankles, completing their work. She had clearly started her task as a May pole, sitting down. Ribbon covered her eyes, neck, loosely hung over her shoulders, arms, and chest. The satin streamers were more evenly and tightly, crossing her waist and down. A ridiculously large red bow sat on the top of her head. She was laughing in an indulging and tired fashion.

As soon as Johnny spotted him, he abandoned his mother's knees and threw his arms around EJ's.

"Hi Daddy! Look at Mommy! She's a Christmas present. I tied her eyes first so it would be a surprise when we're done".

EJ squatted down in utter joy and engulfed him in his arms:

"I can see that. That's the best Christmas present wrapping job I've ever seen." Kissing him on the head and hugging him tight, he hummed how much he loved him.

Johnny giggled and squirmed away, returning to the ribbon, sorting it out.

Samantha was protesting the addition of ribbon as EJ reached for Sydney. He scooped her up in his arms, holding her head to his chest for a moment and then giving her a big smile.

"I see you and your brother have been very busy today, wrapping a very large present?"

Samantha quickly chimed in with an indignant "hey!" before returning her attention to giggling Johnny.

EJ was lost in her for a moment again. She looked terribly adorable with the bow and the ribbon over her eye which was also sloppily tied at her right temple. But she also looked beautiful. Her shinning hair hanging over her bare shoulders and back, her flushed checks, her smile…

EJ quickly turned his attention back to Sydney, who was playing the tie and smiling. She started to fuss so EJ lowered her down and watched as she ran back to her brother's side, at her mother's legs.

EJ hesitantly walked directly up to his children's spot. Johnny looked up

"Daddy! Mommy has to stay under the tree doesn't she? I told her that and she says she can't" He laughed.

Johnny was great at teasing his mom, who replied.

"Johnny, if mommy stays under the tree until Christmas, who will get you presents and bake you cookies?"

Johnny replied confidently "Daddy!"

EJ laughed joyfully at his son's humor, simply sinking into the warmth of the moment and forgetting everything outside.

"Well, mommy, I guess I'll just have to buy all the presents and bake the cookies, because let's face it dear, no one wants food poisoning, while you sit under the tree like a pretty little present." The children cheered him.

"Ahem, EJ! I can bake cookies you know. They come in a tube… anyway, mommy needs to sit down and this ribbon is not exactly paper so a little help please!"

Chuckling to himself, Mary happened to step into the room, prompting EJ to ask if the children wanted to go make cookies in the kitchen. More cheering and EJ promised to follow shortly as the trotted off with Mary.

She waddled over to EJ, stumbling at the last moment. Catching her by her arms, EJ didn't let go. She was almost resting against his chest.

Perhaps blissfully unaware of their closeness, thanks to her ribbon blindfold, she smiled up at him, a small smirk at the left corner.

"EJ, can you please unwrap me?"

He didn't breathe. He couldn't blink and break contact with her, her lips.

And then he felt a snap and a rush of breath shot up from his gut.

Tightening his hold, he ripped the ribbon off her off her eyes, meeting her startled gaze with his own blazing eyes.

He could see she was confused and maybe even slightly disturbed, by his odd behavior. EJ needed to see her eyes. With her so close, acting so sweet, he definitely needed to see her eyes. Samantha was a very devious and dishonest woman, and he needed to stop the charade right now.

But she simply looked pleasantly surprised rather than smug or sneaky. But as she noticed the lack of humor in his, a myriad of emotions began to swirl around. He had confused her, maybe even scared her a little. Good! She made him so frustrated, more so than anything else in his life ever had.

He needed to touch her. EJ couldn't help it, so he slid his left hand slowly across her shoulder and up her neck, inching his way upward. And then he was cupping her face and gently rubbing her cheek with is thumb. Watching her shiver. He closed his eyes in pain.

_Why did it always feel so wonderful to touch her, yet so painful at the same time? _

Opening his eyes, EJ was startled to see that Samantha had reached up towards his face, almost touching him. Her eyes were shut tight and she held her breath, clearly trying hard to hold onto whatever had brought her to him, reaching for… a kiss?

It took one second, maybe less, for EJ to tighten his caress to a grip around her neck and he was kissing her. Really kissing her. Holding her face captive, pressing his lips against hers hard, over and over. She was kissing him just as hard. Their mouths were open, lips sliding over each other in all directions, tongues caressing softly, lovingly, and then franticly with burning intensity. Her hands pressed tightly against the sides of his face.

By this point, EJ had Samantha wrapped up against him, fisting her sweater and strands of ribbon, in one hand while his other tangled into the silk of her hair, grasping a handful under that silly bow.

Breathing was necessary. EJ pressed her head back and she gasped dramatically. While breathing, with skill he was proud of, EJ ravished her neck. Dragging his lips along the lines of tendons, stopping here and there to kiss deeply, and then running his tongue up under her chin, he then moved up to her lips again.

EJ took one more, deep, kiss from Samantha then opened his eyes and began to very lightly brush kisses over her lips and cheeks, waiting for her to open her eyes.

Samantha gave him a gentle kiss then opened her eyes. They both regarded each other with slightly guarded desire and need.

EJ swallowed, bracing himself for an unknown response,

"Samantha, I"

"Shh" She cut him off.

"Let's just hold still for a moment. Before it fades and the questions and worry come".

She closed her eyes again and very gently reached further up while pulling EJ down gently, to rest his face in her neck, holding him tightly but dearly. EJ breathed her in. He tried to consume everything around him. The tree, his children laughing and smiling, dressing up their mum in ribbon, and Samantha. He felt drained but at peace.

_I'm just going to rest here for a moment_. Samantha very gently stroked the side of his face, while he wrapped his arms around her as much as possible, rubbing his face into her hair.

_Just a little while longer._

Even though he could still smell her hair, he knew it was a dream. He was barely awake, rubbing his face against his pillow and he could still feel her hands holding his head. Flipping onto his back and forcing himself fully awake, EJ stared at the ceiling.

_What a dream, eh EJ? What a fucking messed up dream about your "sweetheart", truly hateful, ex-wife Samantha._

It hurt. Amongst all of the feelings of confusion, anger at her, at himself, he felt frustration that he was falling back after finally moving forward into a normal and caring relationship with Nicole.

And there was Samantha. Dream Samantha was just parts of Samantha: the playful, the happy, the mischievous, the passionate, and the loving. The loving part is the hardest. There had been times, too few, where Samantha had shown that side to him. Like when she snuggled up to him when he was exhausted and laid up with a headache. She had come and laid down, pulling his head onto her shoulder and lightly stroking his face. Those few moments had been some of the most beautiful ones of his life.

How could he forget Samantha? They hurt each other in the most drastic ways possible. Their most recent time together was a disaster on so many levels. Waking up from the dream hadn't erased all of the anger and mistrust.

Pushing his palms painfully over his eyes, EJ admitted that at that moment, he ached to have the fantasy family and be with her. He was a goddamn fool and he had no idea what to do. He had to figure out what he wanted, and fast. He needed to move on from the chaos and plan a future for his children. Ultimately decide what to do about, or with, Samantha. So many questions and obstacles lay ahead of him. But EJ was certain of one thing: once he knew what he wanted, he would get it.


End file.
